New relationships can be full of excitement, intrigue, and passion. You may get butterflies in your stomach every time you’re with that new special someone, and you can’t help but find yourself fantasizing about your future together as a couple. However, if you truly want your new relationship to be long-lasting instead of short-lived, it’s never been more important for you to avoid these 11 major relationship mistakes that are powerful enough to sink any new relationship.
Not being yourself
In the beginning of a new relationship, many women may feel compelled to act or behave in a certain way that’s not entirely in sync with who they really are. And while it’s perfectly normal and natural to want to put your best self forward when you’re with the new object of your affection, it’s not okay to lose your identity in order to please your new partner.
In fact, if you want to be able to create a deep, meaningful, and enduring relationship with this person, you need to stay true to who you really are so that the person you’re with can complement you and your life, rather than detracting from it. For instance, if you end up playing a role, sacrificing your values, and/or saying or doing things in order to appease your new partner instead of being true to yourself, the next role you’ll likely be playing is that of his ex. However, when you opt to be your real and authentic self right from the start, your new relationship is far more likely to grow into something real as well.
Moving too fast
It’s not surprising that new relationships can move at a whirlwind speed. In fact, you and your partner may be so intensely into each other that you end up skipping certain relationship steps that are actually necessary in order for you to really get to know one another. Specifically, you may start making big decisions about your future together, immediately become sexually intimate, or spend a lot of time with your new partner’s friends and family before really getting to spend quality time with just him.
And while your warp speed approach can often be blamed on the pure thrill and excitement of the honeymoon phase of your new relationship, it’s important to keep in mind that these intense feelings of adoration and devotion can fade over time, as noted in Social Science Research. So if you don’t put in the needed time it takes to build a strong connection with your partner and/or you refrain from really getting to know him before jumping into these kind of serious relationship situations, you’re likely to have a life without each other in the future. In a word, if things happen too soon between you and your partner, your relationship will likely end sooner than you thought.
Being too clingy
When it comes to new relationships, it’s also imperative you don’t become too needy or clingy with your new beau. And while you may be so excited and enthralled with your new man that you’re tempted to text or call him non-stop, want to spend every second with him, and always need to know what he’s up to and if you can join, not giving him his space is only going to create space between the two of you. So in order to avoid having your partner feel as though you’re smothering him, it’s important to continue to be the confident and independent person you are if you really want your relationship to work in the long run.
In fact, if you’re hoping to build a strong connection with this person, you should continue to pursue the activities, hobbies, and passions that make you the special person you are, as that’s actually what made you appealing and attractive to this new person in the first place. Remember, if you want to set the stage for a world-class relationship, it’s important that you incorporate your man into your world, rather than having your world suddenly revolve around him.
Comparing your new partner to your ex
Another major “don’t” in a new relationship is to compare your new beau to your ex. And whether things ended amicably with your ex or not, always comparing your new partner to your ex is only going to make it that much harder to develop a deep and fulfilling connection with this new man in the future. After all, when you’re constantly comparing your partner to your ex, a part of you is still stuck in the past and will inevitably prevent you from fully investing in a new relationship.
Plus, when you continually judge your partner against the man (or men) who came before him, you can end up creating impossibly high standards that are unattainable and unfair to place on someone else. And while your exes are important in the way that they shaped the person you are today and can help you understand what qualities and characteristics you value in another person, it’s crucial that you leave the past in the past, not only for your own personal health and happiness, but for the health and happiness of your budding relationship.
If you want your new relationship to have long-lasting potential, it’s important that you’re truthful with your partner from the outset of your time together. In fact, honesty is the very cornerstone of a successful relationship, and if you start out a new relationship based on lies, your relationship will likely crumble because your connection was built on falsehoods. In a word, if you want your relationship to have any chance of succeeding, you have to be able to share your true thoughts with your partner and be willing to be vulnerable around him.
And while part of you may always want to agree with your new partner or hide what you’re truly feeling in order to avoid any conflict between the two of you, being dishonest is doing a major disservice to your connection. In fact, conflict can actually be beneficial to a new relationship, as it enables you to learn more about your partner while simultaneously helping you both develop problem-solving techniques as a couple. So don’t be afraid to voice your true thoughts and concerns to your new man, as it’s actually a key step in determining if your relationship will make it in the long run.
Thinking it won’t last
Another major faux pas for any new relationship is heading into it with the idea that it won’t last. In fact, there are many different reasons women place this kind of negative expectation on a new relationship, such as they believe the relationship falls into the “rebound” category and couldn’t possibly develop into something serious, or perhaps the man they’re with isn’t their usual type, so there’s no real long-term potential.
However, when you enter into a new relationship expecting it to be short-lived, you’re actually laying the groundwork for this type of outcome to manifest itself. In fact, expectations are powerful enough to influence your behavior, and your belief that your relationship won’t last can end up impacting the way you interact with this person. So rather than heading into a new relationship already thinking that it’s going to fail, it’s important to keep an open mind, engage in positive thinking, and let the relationship develop on its own, free from any negative energy that can inevitably lead to its demise. You just never know.
Overlooking red flags
While you may think your new partner is practically perfect, it’s important that you don’t let your googly eyes prevent you from seeing any possible red flags. For instance, if your partner disrespects you, tries to control you, acts recklessly, or is emotionally or physically abusive in any way, it’s important that you don’t turn a blind eye to these kinds of negative behaviors.
In fact, these actions are actually key indicators of the type of man he truly is, and in many cases, these detrimental behaviors can often escalate and exacerbate over time. And if you choose to ignore these warning signs or think that you can change and mold him into the partner you want him to be, you’re highly mistaken. Remember, the best predictor of a man’s behavior in the future is his past behavior, so by looking out for red flags from the very outset of your new relationship, you can avoid wasting another second with someone who doesn’t deserve any of your time.
Being a worrywart
When it comes to new relationships, it’s also important that you avoid turning into an obsessive worrier. In fact, many women become completely stressed and anxious over the state of their new relationship and end up mulling over every single issue that may or may not even be present. However, constantly worrying is actually going to affect your relationship in many damaging ways.
Specifically, stress can take a large toll on your physical health, and you can end up suffering from a wide range of symptoms, such as headaches, high blood pressure, sleep disturbances, as well as weight gain. Plus, being anxious can also negatively impact your emotional health and behavior, and you may experience memory problems and depression as well as become irritable, irrational, and withdrawn. So the next time you find yourself worrying and obsessing over your new relationship, it’s important to keep in mind that this kind of stress can directly contribute to your relationship’s demise.
Focusing on labels
Along these lines, when it comes to new relationships, it’s important for you to avoid focusing on labels. Specifically, in the beginning of a new relationship, many women are so eager to try and define their connection as soon as possible that this kind of insistence can actually end up pushing the guy away. Plus, many women are tempted to prematurely slap a label on their relationship simply because of their desire to post about it on social media.
But in reality, when it comes to these kinds of serious discussions and decisions in a new relationship, there’s a natural time and progression that have to occur before you can put a label on what you have together. So rather than spending your time thinking about whether or not you’re technically his girlfriend, put in the time it takes to get to really know him so you can better understand if you actually want to be his girlfriend.
Playing mind games
If you’re in a new relationship, it’s also important that you stop playing mind games. For instance, if you find yourself wanting to make your partner jealous, purposefully not texting him back right away, or choosing to be vague and inconsistent about your true feelings and intentions — these kinds of mind games will actually cause you to lose your relationship.
In fact, sending mixed messages and engaging in emotional power plays with your partner will likely come across as clear indicators that you’re not yet ready for a serious commitment and that you don’t possess the maturity level to be in a real relationship. And since building trust in a new relationship is based upon openness, honesty, and mutual respect, playing these types of mind games is only going to undercut your efforts to create a meaningful and long-lasting connection. So if your go-to strategy is to be hot and cold with your new beau, your relationship is on track to fizzle out very soon.
Not enjoying your new relationship
When looking more closely at new relationships, it’s clear there are many different things that you should try to avoid doing. However, it’s also important that you don’t miss out on the opportunity to have fun with your new beau. The start of a new relationship is full of happy, meaningful, and memorable moments and experiences that you create with your partner while you’re both getting to learn more about each other.
In fact, it’s been shown that engaging in different kinds of fun and enjoyable activities with your partner can bring you closer as a couple, helps to improve your conflict resolution skills, and is associated with an increased level of relationship satisfaction. So when you place an emphasis on enjoying these kinds of firsts together, it’s actually a key step toward building a first-rate and long-lasting relationship with one another.